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“You misunderstand. I regret to say that my conscience has not troubled me at all about deserting you. But as for enlisting—when I think of joining the army in varnished boots and a white linen suit and armed with only a pair of dueling pistols— And those long cold miles in the snow after my boots wore out and I had no overcoat and nothing to eat ... I cannot understand why I did not desert. It was all the purest insanity. But it’s in one’s blood. Southerners can never resist a losing cause. But never mind my reasons. It’s enough that I’m forgiven.”

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